Understanding this does not mean that coaches should lower standards or overlook poor behaviour. Instead, it means recognising that performance is only one part of an athlete’s experience. When coaches understand the person behind the performance, they can create environments that support both development and wellbeing.
The Athlete Has a Life Beyond Sport
An athlete’s sporting performance does not exist in isolation. Schoolwork, family relationships, friendships, academic expectations, injuries, financial pressures, and uncertainty about the future can all influence how an athlete feels and behaves.
For young athletes in particular, sport may be developing alongside important changes in their personal and social lives. They may be learning how to manage expectations, build relationships, develop independence, and understand who they are while also trying to meet the demands of competitive sport.
A change in performance or behaviour may therefore have more than one explanation. An athlete who appears distracted may be dealing with something outside of training. An athlete who becomes unusually frustrated may be struggling with pressure. Someone who is normally confident may simply be having a difficult day.
This is why coaches should be careful about immediately interpreting behaviour as laziness, poor attitude, or lack of commitment.
Sometimes, the most useful question is simply, “How are you doing?”
Looking Beyond Performance
Performance provides valuable information, but it does not always tell coaches what is happening beneath the surface.
A poor performance does not necessarily mean an athlete is unmotivated. A quiet athlete is not necessarily disengaged. A frustrated athlete is not automatically disrespectful. Behaviour needs to be understood within its context.
This does not mean coaches should make assumptions about an athlete’s emotional state or attempt to diagnose what might be happening. Instead, changes in behaviour can provide an opportunity to check in.
A coach might say, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a little quieter today. Is everything okay?” This creates an opening for communication without immediately judging the athlete.
The athlete may choose to share something, or they may simply say that everything is fine. Either way, the coach has communicated that their wellbeing matters.
Creating Space for Emotional Check-Ins
Emotional check-ins do not need to become lengthy or complicated conversations. They can be brief moments integrated naturally into everyday coaching.
Asking an athlete how their week has been, how they are feeling before training, or whether anything is affecting their focus can help coaches become more aware of what their athletes may be experiencing.
These conversations can be particularly valuable after difficult competitions, setbacks, injuries, conflicts, or periods of noticeable behavioural change.
The purpose is not to force athletes to disclose personal information. Athletes should be allowed to maintain appropriate boundaries around their private lives. Instead, check-ins create an environment where communication is available when an athlete wants or needs it.
Over time, these small interactions can contribute to a stronger coach–athlete relationship because athletes learn that their coach is interested in more than what they can produce during training or competition.
Building a Supportive Coaching Environment
Athletes are more likely to communicate honestly when they believe they will be listened to rather than immediately criticised or punished.
Trust is built through everyday coaching behaviours. Listening without interrupting, giving feedback respectfully, correcting mistakes privately when appropriate, acknowledging effort, and responding calmly to difficult situations can all contribute to a healthier environment.
The way a coach addresses behaviour is particularly important. There is a significant difference between saying, “That behaviour does not meet our team expectations. Let’s talk about what happened,” and labelling an athlete as “disrespectful” or “a bad teammate.”
The first addresses a specific behaviour and leaves room for accountability and change. The second can make the athlete feel that their character is being attacked.
Supportive coaching does not mean avoiding difficult conversations. It means having those conversations in a way that protects the athlete’s dignity.
Empathy Does Not Mean Lowering Standards
There can sometimes be a misconception that an empathetic coach is a coach who allows athletes to get away with poor behaviour.
In reality, empathy and accountability can work together.
A coach can acknowledge that an athlete is experiencing a difficult period while still making it clear that certain standards must be maintained. Understanding why something happened does not necessarily mean excusing what happened.
For example, an athlete might explain that they have been having a difficult week after behaving poorly during training. A coach can acknowledge what the athlete is experiencing while also discussing how their behaviour affected teammates and what needs to change moving forward.
This approach sends two important messages at the same time: the athlete matters, and their actions matter.
That balance is central to effective coaching. Athletes need support, but they also need structure, expectations, and opportunities to take responsibility for their choices.
Knowing the Limits of the Coaching Role
Coaches can have an important influence on athlete wellbeing, but they are not expected to solve every personal or emotional difficulty an athlete may experience.
There are situations where additional support may be appropriate. Depending on the circumstances, this might involve parents or guardians, school personnel, medical professionals, counsellors, psychologists, safeguarding personnel, or other qualified professionals.
Coaches should therefore understand the boundaries of their role. Their responsibility may be to notice changes, create an opportunity for communication, listen appropriately, provide reasonable support, and help connect the athlete with the right person when further assistance is needed.
Knowing when to refer is not a failure of coaching. It is part of responsible support.
Small Moments Can Have a Lasting Impact
Supporting athletes does not always require a major intervention. Often, it happens through small and consistent moments.
A coach remembering something important an athlete mentioned, checking in after a difficult competition, recognising effort during a challenging session, or simply taking the time to listen can communicate that the athlete is valued as a person.
These moments may not appear on a scoreboard, but they can influence how athletes experience their sporting environment.
Every athlete will respond differently. Some may openly communicate their feelings, while others may need more time or prefer to keep personal matters private. Effective coaches recognise these differences rather than expecting every athlete to communicate in the same way.
The goal is not to know everything about an athlete’s personal life. It is to create an environment where athletes feel respected and know that communication is possible.
Coaching the Whole Person
Sport can be an important part of an athlete’s identity, but it should not become the only way they are valued.
When coaches look beyond performance, they can better understand the people they are helping to develop. This does not mean taking attention away from performance goals. Instead, it recognises that sustainable performance is supported by an athlete’s broader wellbeing.
The question is not only, “How can I help this athlete perform better?”
It is also, “How can I help this athlete develop in a healthy and sustainable way?”
The two questions can exist together.
Great coaching challenges athletes to improve while creating an environment where they feel respected, supported, and accountable. It recognises that mistakes are opportunities for learning, difficult periods deserve understanding, and personal wellbeing can influence sporting development.
The Person Behind the Jersey
Every athlete brings more to sport than their statistics, results, or position on a team sheet. They bring their experiences, emotions, relationships, ambitions, challenges, and individual circumstances.
Coaches do not need to have all the answers. They do, however, have an opportunity to notice, listen, communicate, and respond with empathy while maintaining appropriate standards.
The athlete behind the jersey deserves to be seen as more than a performer.
Because when coaches support the whole person, they are not moving away from performance. They are helping create the conditions in which meaningful, healthy, and sustainable performance can develop.
Article by:
Krisha Librado – Content Editor
The information provided in this article is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or guidance. The author and publisher of this article are not liable for any damages or losses that may result from following the information provided. It is recommended that you consult with a qualified professional before making any decisions based on the information in this article.